I Have Never Put a Fork in the Microwave, Among Other Things.

I have never put a fork or any other kind of metal in a microwave. I have always wanted to try it. I am skeptical of what happens when you do it. Will it actually catch on fire, or is that a myth?

But on the other hand, I have never stuck a fork in a power outlet, and I know what will happen if I do that. I have been electrocuted before. It's not really that bad, it's kind of exciting. You get all tingly inside. It feels like your phone is on vibrate, but your whole body is the vibrator.

My relationship with my body has always been weird.

I am sick right now, I seem to get sick a lot. I've had my doctor check me out, and they never found anything wrong with me. I've been like this my whole life, I guess I just have a weak immune system.

Every time I get sick, it's a big ordeal because cold medicine always fucks me up.

I've done enough drugs in my life, nothing too crazy, but enough. Cold medicine has always been the thing to really knock me on my ass. Just plain over-the-counter cold meds.

I've had codeine before when I was sick. Everyone told me that it would knock me out worse than the other medicine. It didn't.

I drank it from the bottle while riding my motorcycle across three states with a respiratory infection.

I always get dizzy, double vision, and I can't think straight. To the point where I shouldn't be in public places. I remember one time in my 20s I thought it would be a good idea to get drunk while I was sick and taking cold medicine. I don't remember much from that night, but I know I was tripping out pretty hard.

I have to take some more after I finish writing this so that I can hopefully sleep tonight. The truth is I will probably be back online in few hours writing cold medicine induced, psychotic essays.